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‘The job isn’t so much for the money, it better not be on what they’re paying. It’s to find out if it’s something I can do and like. Are you still doing the business thing?’ ‘I’ve been thinking about it. I have lots of contacts and I do well with people so it would seem to be a good fit. I’m just not excited about the prospect.’ I took a sip. Drinking seemed to make the pace more leisurely. ‘Is that part of the new you? Did it excite you before?’ asked Jen. I’d been asking myself more and more questions and the conclusions were pretty harsh. ‘I don’t think I did a lot of reflecting before. I had no doubts about anything, but I don’t think that was because I was confident in my choices. ‘I’m not sure I made choices. There’s stuff you do and stuff you have to do and you do it, you know? Is this making any sense?’ ‘I’m not sure,’ said Jen. Try it another way. Like Jeff says, one on one you get to try everything until you find something that works. ‘Hot girl. Guys do what you want. So do. “Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I’ll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.Then I remembered the local cafe serves breakfast until 11.30.Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly.
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